My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I need water and some morals
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
