Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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