I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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