i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
