So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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