I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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