it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
