He felt like a one man threesome
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
