Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
