god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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