would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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