so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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