the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
