You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
