And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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