I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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