He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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