apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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