My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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