i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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