so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
