hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
