Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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