You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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