she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
