Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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