I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
