last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
