I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
vagina is talking i cant
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
