i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
