with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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