It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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