I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
