Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I am available for nakedness
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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