So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
