i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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