Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
