Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
