you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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