the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
