When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she peed on how many people?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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