Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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