remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
