Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
