I am puke
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
