You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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