Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
