I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
