You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
