just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
