Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
