I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
