i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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