I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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