Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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