BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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